A Complete Life

Saffron Rare Threads

I've come off an especially draining week at work, and I found the perfect oasis to recharge. As chance would have it, a lobby renovation kicked us out of work at 5:45 pm. Perfect chance, I thought, to go shopping for that new suit I've been needing for a while.

Just a few short blocks from my house, I discovered Saffron Rare Threads. I'd read about it on Daily Candy as a place to get high quality suits with a modern twist. I'd been planning to go for months.

I walked in, and discovered a colorful mix of mens suits, women's suits and boldly patterned dresses. One of the owners, Priya, approached me right away and offered me some baked goods, leftover from an event earlier this week.

She told me about the store: they're a group of three women designers selling their own designs. In fact, the back half of the space comprises their studio: a colorful mix of tables, ironing boards, cloth, patterns and works-in-progress. It added so much uniqueness and interest to the designs to see, right there, where they came from.

I felt like she was welcoming me into her home, of sorts. And I felt relaxed. What a pleasant experience! They even have events every so often in their space: what a great way to build community!

I took a look at the clothes, and I was so wonderfully surprised. Classic items: blouses, knit shirts, jackets, pants and skirts. But, with a twist: well-placed ruffles, iridescent silk linings, interesting cuts and details. To me, that's what made the clothes special: and what makes them feel special to me. That's exactly my style too: classic, but unique. Well-made, fairly priced, and, even, free alterations! What a deal!

Inspiring designs, a welcoming store, expert advice, friendliness, patience, and a good deal. Wow, when I left, the stress had completely dripped away!

I'll certainly be back: the fall designs arrive in August. Thanks, Priya!

Overcoming My Fear

As a Hong Kong girl with only a year of driving under her belt, I have a confession to make: I'm afraid of driving.

The great thing is, as of last weekend, that statement's now "I was afraid of driving"!

I owned a car between 2001 and 2002. That's the one year that I really drove at all. I was so afraid of the highway that when my dad and I drove separate cars to Sunnyvale to sell my car, he took the freeway and waited for 45 minutes while I took surface roads. Stoplight, go....stoplight, go....for 40-50 miles. It's not my own driving I was worried about: it was everyone else on the road, everyone who might swerve unexpectedly, stop suddenly, or come a little too close.

The thing is, I don't let fear stop me. That's not who I am. But then I moved to Philadelphia, to San Francisco, places where it's better not to own a car. And gradually the issue faded. Not owning a car became a financial and environmental issue.

Just recently, I got back on the horse. First, I had the chance to learn how to drive stick. So Ted and I braved the relationship dangers of teaching your girlfriend how to drive stick, and we spent a couple of sunny afternoons stalling and screeching in the quiet neighborhoods of Atherton. After 4 weekends, I felt ready to tackle the highways. Here I come!

Funny thing is.....it wasn't that bad! I realized I've got a lot better at trusting others and letting go of control. Cruising up and down 101, driving all over San Francisco......it was even fun! My crowning achievement was on a recent lone business trip to Detroit: I picked up the rental car, drove into town on unfamiliar roads after dark, smooth as silk.

It feels so good!

Top Chef Truisms

I finally caught some episodes of Top Chef last weekend....ok, so I got sucked into a marathon. Now, it's no surprise that I'd get into a reality show where chefs battle each other with extravagant, mouth-watering dishes, kindof an Iron Chef plus reality show.

What I was surprised by is how much I learned about leadership in the final episodes. It came down to two finalists. Tiffany, the daring, brilliant chef was clearly a chef who would break boundaries and change the face of cuisine. She was also a hyper-competitive, arrogant, "I work alone" character. When the elementary school kids at the Boys & Girls' club didn't like her food, she snootily responds, "I'm not insulted if a bunch of kids with no developed palate don't appreciate my food."

Harold, the other finalist, was the other end of the spectrum. His food was consistent, safe, and good but not visionary. But, he was a team player and a group leader. When his team's carrots were criticized by the same kids, and they lost the challenge, they were all asked "Who should go home?". His answer? "I should." While he didn't cook the carrots, "I noticed, and I should've said something, but I didn't. It was a lapse in judgement."

Lesson: great leaders share success but shoulder responsibility for failures.

Four contestants from earlier rounds returned as sous-chefs for the two finalists. Three out of four wanted to work for Harold. Ultimately, he had to choose which two.

Leadership genius: Instead of picking favorites, he had them draw knives. Such a smart way to really be fair.

The teams were such different places to work. Harold's team brainstormed a menu together. They put together each of their best dishes, and made each others' better. The whole team was committed, and put in 110%. Instead, Tiffany dictates an ambitious menu: she does everything "two ways", doubling the number of dishes to be made. Stephen, a sommelier, advises her not to choose artichoke: it's notoriously difficult to pair with wine. She doesn't listen. She also assigns Dave full responsibility for dessert. Great move: he's spent months working on the perfect dessert that he was going to use to help Harold win.

Stephen and Dave take full advantage of Vegas, and come in late the morning of the dinner, hung over and incapable of full attention. Harold's team has been working and having fun for hours. So, Tiffany barks orders.

Two 5-course tasting menus later, it's time for the verdict.

The food is straightforward: Harold's menu was "safe", but executed well. Tiffany's had some great successes, but also spectacular failures. But, the judges all loved Tiffany's dessert: a vanilla panna cotta and a beautiful creme brulee, each paired perfectly with cocktails. So unfortunately, however, Tiffany takes full credit for the dessert that was Dave's creation. She gets caught.

It's so telling that all four sous chefs, working for both Tiffany and Harold, said Harold should win.

Wow, it's pretty clear. In this situation, being a great team player and gracious leader brought more success than being a genius in the field.

And I think that's true of life in general. There will always be geniuses that are recognized for their egotistical eccentricities. But the ones who succeed beyond their talents are people who make people feel good. And it definitely looks like they have more fun doing it!